« The long awaited Facts of Chuck Norris Vol. 7 | Main | Facts of Chuck Norris Vol. 9 »
April 23, 2006
Another belated Facts of Chuck Norris Vol. 8
71) Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
72) Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
73) Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.
74) One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.
75) Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
76) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
77) Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
78) Heart disease may be the new leading cause of death in women age 45 to 65, but Chuck Norris is still the leading cause of death in men age 0 to 125.
Women never say no to Chuck Norris. Even if they don't want to, they know its eventually gonna happen.
79) Chuck Norris has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Chuck Norris problem.
80) Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. Chuck Norris has 7,483.
Posted by Vilhelm at April 23, 2006 9:29 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.churducken.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/74
Comments
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)