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April 24, 2006
Facts of Chuck Norris Vol. 9
81)Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
82) Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas
83) Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.
84) Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
85) Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
86) Chuck Norris took the Blue Pill and still found out the truth.
87) If Chuck Norris were an Olympic athlete, the Olympics would be canceled. Every four years they would just mail Chuck Norris his 237 gold medals.
88) Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
89) Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
90) The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.
91) Chuck Norris' only pick up line is him snapping his fingers, pointing at a girl, and then pointing to his bulge. Chuck Norris gets it all the time.
92) God created heaven and earth, he then created man. Man overpopulated the earth, so, God created Chuck Norris.
93) It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.
94) Chuck keeps tryin' to donate sperm, but the receptionist keeps getting pregnant.
95) Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.
96) Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.
Posted by Vilhelm at April 24, 2006 6:25 AM
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