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May 18, 2007
Chuck Norris
So we've all heard the Chuck Norris facts...
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits.
I myself never really get tired of the Chuck Norris facts. Not even the old ones. But I was browsing Digg, and came across a story about how someone made a WOW character that looked like Chuck Norris. The comments were littered with new and amazing Chuck Norris facts. Here are some of them, for your viewing pleasure.
New Chuck Norris Facts (no particular order):How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if the woodchuck was Chuck Norris?
...all of it.On Chuck Norris' birthday he chooses one lucky kid to throw into the sun.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris eats Rice Krispies they don't go "snap, crackle pop" they go "shhhhhhh here he comes".
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris uses the Sword of 1000 Truths as a toothpick.
Chuck Norris can play air guitar in space.
Chuck Norris secretly has sex with every woman in the planet once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the world down.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris is so tough, there's no chin under his beard... there is only another fist.
Chuck Norris does not have pubic hair, he has a groin beard.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Chuck Norris.
Oh shit.They were gonna name a bridge after Chuck Norris, but decided against it since no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives...
Chuck Norris once beat a fish in a staring contest.
Chuck Norris once had to pee after a long night of drinking, we now called it Niagara Falls.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at a game of tennis.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling corn that sometimes it needs to just LIE THE FUCK DOWN!
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
That is all for now... In honor of the Norris, I have temporarily added a randomized Chuck Norris fact box to Churducken's front page. Look under the search bar.
-Geoff
Posted by Geoff at May 18, 2007 1:37 PM
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Comments
Nice, I like the new addition.
Posted by: Ninja McFear 
at May 18, 2007 10:12 PM
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