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June 28, 2007
Beard-Off 2007
As judge of Beard-Off 2007, I have come to an official decision which decides the winner of the contest. It took me a while to come to this decision, there were a lot of factors to consider and I apologize for the length of time it has taken me to finalize my decision. The hardest part of this ultimate verdict was the fact that one of the contestants (who shall remain nameless) was not present at the time of judgment, so I had to compare the two beards during separate meetings with the contestants and imagine what both beards would look like at the same place in time. The most difficult part of my decision was having to judge which beard had the greatest length, as it was one of the parameters for judging. Fullness of beards was also a difficult consideration, I am unsure as how the contestants would have felt if I started touching their faces. Therefore, I had to base my ruling on purely visual observations, which can be difficult. Having to use my imagination and compare the two beards side-by-side, this decision has been the hardest one I have had to make in a while. So without further or due, I officially announce that the winner of Beard-Off 2007 is:
Will
Will had greater coverage of beard than Geoff, and the fullness of his beard was better as well. Although the length of beards was the same between Will and Geoff, his beard still bested Geoff's in the other two categories thus earning him victory in Beard-Off 2007.
Congratulations Will.
Posted by Ninja McFear at June 28, 2007 9:47 PM
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Comments
Grats Will.
Posted by: Geoff 
at June 29, 2007 12:20 AM
Thank you, thank you. I would like to take this moment to thank all the people who helped me achieve this honor. To Geoff, for challenging me in the first place and providing me with an excellent rival. In a way I feel we are both winners. To my mother who supplied the genes for me to grow so much hair I look like a fucking beast. To my father, who showed me that a beard was definitely a possibility for me. To Burke, for not dumping my ass when I was looking like a homeless guy. And to the Gilette company, who I am totally shafting out of my hard earned money by continuing not to shave. Thank you all, good night!
Posted by: Vilhelm at June 29, 2007 9:35 AM
Oh, I would also like to thank god (just to piss Geoff off, because in all truth I don't see what he had to do with it) and Chuck Norris, compared to whom all beards are simple face pubes. May he never roundhouse kick me into oblivion for winning this title. Thank you.
Posted by: Vilhelm at June 29, 2007 9:36 AM
lol!
Posted by: Geoff at June 29, 2007 11:24 AM
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