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April 17, 2008
Ninja Power
Hey guys, I killed the last two posts I made because I'm a ninja. Seeing those posts brought up stuff I'd really like not to think about. Anyhow, I've had some time to mull over the shit that's been happening in my house the last few weeks and I'm starting to feel better about things, although I am still quite angry. I haven't really said anything to either of my parents in the last week, the only time I talk to them now is in response to one of their questions.
The librarian at my mom's school noticed I was in a funk when she saw me earlier this week and asked her husband, who I do yard duty with, about it. He had no idea, since he hadn't seen me until yesterday. He asked me what was going on, and so I told him about what was happening with me and my mom. It was amazing how he was able to relate exactly to what I was going through and suggested some further steps for me to take. It's like black clouds of despair broke from the sky and this light illuminated my path. It was pretty crazee. He gave me some things to think about, and I feel much better. I had my first real good laugh yesterday after he talked with me, a laugh I haven't had in over a week. I haven't really done anything he suggested (which was talk to my mom), cause I know that it won't make things any better. It's strange how me and this man think on the same wavelength, because he said that maybe it's time for me to move out and have some time and space to myself, which is exactly what I plan to do.
Like I said before, I haven't talked to my mom a whole lot since we had our blow-out last week. I think it's given us both some time to think about what each other is thinking. She has finally learned (I hope) to back off and let me take care of my shit, and I've learned that she will always be mom and a woman so she doesn't need rationale (logical or otherwise) to ask me anything. She's trying to be all nice and shit to me now, which I've largely ignored. I may start talking to her again soon, or else she's going to get mad again.
To put things succinctly, I'm feeling better, still not talking to my parents, looking for a job, all while trying to maintain my sanity.
I've been looking for jobs down in Monterey, where I would ultimately like to live. What do you guys think?
Posted by Ninja McFear at April 17, 2008 11:12 PM
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